when yahoo answers tells you to read your book
me: what’s for dinner?
her: *spreads her legs*
so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it.
oh, this old thing? *pulls out my grandma from my pocket*
IMAGINE IF SIMON COWELL WAS YOUR DAD AND YOU WERE SINGING IN THE SHOWER AND HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND SAID “ITS A NO FROM ME”
Do you ever wonder what could have been? Because I do all the time.
when you try to flick away a bug but it comes towards you instead
I want to kiss you but I also want to light you on fire at the same time